the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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