At least make sure they are 18
Why
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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