what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
