i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
