:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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