Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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