hotel room ftw
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
