Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
