spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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