What a fucking waste of an outfit
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
