I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
