i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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