I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
