We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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