Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
