We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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