I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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