You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
