SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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