careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
