You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
