Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
