I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
