woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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