I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
