the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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