New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
