Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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