Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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