The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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