And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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