very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
