I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
