You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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