glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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