Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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