dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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