Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
