I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
