im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
