My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
