Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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