Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
