You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
