i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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