He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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