He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
