Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
