how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
handjob tips. give me some.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
