I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
